Say NOPE to Holiday Stress and Spend Time with Jesus Instead!

...........

December is festive! and merry! and bright!... and freakin crazy.

I mean, as a person who battles anxiety (which often, for me, leads to depression) this season that I've always loved, can quickly become an avalanche of to-do lists, shopping, parties, and weeks that are WAY too packed! All this stuff is sooo fun! BUT--there's just SO much happening in 25 days, and suddenly I'm drowning. In stress. And sugar. And Eggnog. (Just kidding, I hate eggnog. #Sorrynotsorry.)

Since becoming a mom, I remember the holiday season when it dawned on me: "Ohhhhh... If I want ALL the MAGICAL HOLIDAY THINGS to happen, I am the one who has to do it! Not my mom. Cause, I AM the mom!" *insert my horrified face.*

I realize more and more every year how much my mom did to make our December's "the most wonderful time of the year!" I mean, I love that song too, but who is handling the stress and arrangements for all of those wonderful events? Who's cleaning the house for guests, and who's going to the grocery store, and who's schedule-juggling and ride-coordinating for the "parties for hosting" and "marshmallows for toasting" and "caroling out in the snow?" It all takes a lot o' work, on top of all the regular caring for kids/home/work--which can leave us moms mentally and physically exhausted!

Don't get the wrong idea...I am NOT saying that my husband doesn't help me with any holiday stuff--Patrick is amazing, and I'm lucky and grateful to have him! He is working so hard to provide for our family, and because of his hard work, we have the luxury of being able to buy Christmas gifts for our kids and each other, as well as help a few other families in need! He actually does the majority of the food on holiday occasions (and I am SO grateful!!) cause he is a much better cook than I! He hung the lights on the outside of our house--which would not have happened if it was my responsibility! He is at home with the kiddos when I go out to holiday shop or help set up for a church Christmas party. He wrapped some presents with our oldest boy. AND, best of all, he performed a dance with a few other brave souls to the Sugar Plumb Fairy (in footy pjs) at our church Christmas party, just because I was on the committee and I asked him to! So you can see that he is the best. :)

What I AM saying is, for most of the festivities of the season, if I want that stuff to happen, it's up to me as the mom to plan it and make it happen.

Like Christmas cards. I'm the one who needs to make that happen. (Or not happen...which is what has now happened for the third year in a row. *sigh*) And, I am the one who got the decorations up and the tree decorated while my children "helped." Haha. My husband and I plan out what to buy for our boys and other family members, then I stress endlessly about if we made the right decision for each person, and if we're buying them the PERFECT PRESENT, then I finally just get fed up and start buying gifts with a reckless abandon that I will probably regret while they are unwrapping them.

😂😂😂

Hahaha! This may have happened to me a few times this year...

But, there's more!! There's planning get-togethers with friends to make Christmas cookies and gingerbread houses, and making sure we find ways to serve and give during this season. We can't forget to watch Christmas movies, plan when to take the boys to pick gifts for their dad and each other, and what to make (or buy, haha) for treats to deliver treats to our neighbors. We gotta figure out when to go see Santa, when to go to a Christmas concert, when to go to the Library Christmas story time, or the gingerbread house display at the museum, or see the live nativity, or go to the Messiah sing-along, hear the carolers at the Temple Visitor Center and go see the lights, etc. Plus, a million other things...

In December, I'm also usually helping with a Christmas party or two at church, musical numbers, and keeping track of kids' school Christmas activities. Also, being entrepreneur makes this season tricky, since this is the season of people buying gifts--therefore the best time to focus on getting my products out there. (I make art and teach art classes!) However, it's the worst time to be pushing myself in my business, cause I'm so busy with family, church, and Christmas stuff. So, I just sigh and put my business goals on the very back burner. (The one that ain't even turned on. ha.)

The funny thing is, it's not like I don't want to do any of these things--that would make them easy to chuck out the window. I WANT to make all these fun traditions happen, and I want to serve and donate and give, and I want to help with the parties, and I want to be super productive in my business! But, when it all converges at once, it makes for a month that leaves me crazy in the head. Haha! (But, for real. In the past few years, I like major spiraled into depression/anxiety during the  Chrsitmas and post-Christmas seasons.)

Basically, in the busy-ness of being a mom at Christmas, sometimes it's hard to feel the "joy" and "peace" of the season. Instead, we can end up feeling frazzled, overwhelmed, a little resentful, and like we haven't made it good enough and "magical enough" for our family. And, none of those feelings add to a season of "peace" and "joy" for us.

I couldn't handle feeling like that for another year. So, I knew this year had to be different. 

I have reallly tried to simplify this year. And, many of the holiday things didn't happen. Which PAINS a person like me who wants to PARTY AND DO EVERYTHING FESTIVE AND FUN!! But, making it all happen drains me. (I am not good at being in charge or keeping track of details.) So, I cut back. And, it's been SO good!! I am enjoying this December, even though I've opted out of fun things!

I would love to host an adult holiday party with ugly sweaters and fun games (cause, PARTIESSSS!) or a ladies Christmas movie night with treats. (cause, LADIES' NIGHT PARTIESSSS!!!) But, there are tooooo many things happening and I no longer can handle a stressed-to-the-max-for-the-entire-month of December.

I've tried to remember that many of the extra traditions are just that: EXTRA. I talked with the boys in November and we wrote down the main things we wanted to make sure we did this month, and those few things were what I focused on.

For example: we did Christmas cookies! But, we didn't make it to the Light Parade or many other fun community events that we just had to chose to skip. So, I basically became a selective hermit. haha! (Though we did go see the lights downtown in Salt Lake!) And, of course, we decorated our tree! And, we even le the kids decorate a 2nd tree on their in in our family room downstairs! But, I didn't worry about finding or buying a real tree that I'd have to keep alive. And, I generally took the decorations down a notch in our house. I helped with my church Christmas party--which we all went to as a family. But, I chose not to host my own in my home as well. I made sure we had an evening or two each week with NOTHING going on. Hopefully I will get some treats out to my neighbors, but...it might not happen. haha. (Sorry neighbors!! I still love you all--I'm just a slacker!) And, I let go of the Christmas cards. I am kind of sad about that one, though. I was hoping this was our year to finally get them out!!

I'm also trying to manage my expectations for Christmas day. Cause, last Christmas was ROUGHHHH. We wrapped up a stressful, busy Christmas season with a hard Christmas day.

I did a ton of custom artwork, (which I no longer do, haha) barely getting it all done and shipped in time, and limped over the finish line before Christmas Eve. We didn't have much family around, since my parents were serving as missionaries on the other side of the world, and my mother-in-law was out-of-state, visiting Patrick's sister, who'd just had a new baby. We got my brother and our father-in-law for a little while, which we were grateful for!

But, the hardest part was my three darling boys: they started the day being adorable and excited for a 1/2 an hour of opening presents, then followed that with an 12-hour, 3 way, knock-down-drag-out fight over all their brand-new toys. And I spent the whole day putting kids in time-outs, taking toys away, pulling the little raging wild-cats off of each other, and crying in frustration. This is the struggle with having three kids of the same gender, close to the same age, who all like basically the same thing. (This Christmas, their toys are almost all the same, or they're getting things to share, like building sets. Hopefully it goes better. haha) I am excited that we get to be around lots of family this year, before and after Christmas, so that will make it more special. :)

This was sooo me by the end of Christmas day last year, haha! It didn't help that I was struggling with depression that I wasn't getting help for yet.

After I learned my sad lesson last year, I'm so happy I've made myself PICK and CHOOSE to maintain a happy/sane/mentally healthy December!

BUT. Even though it can be stressful, I still believe in Christmas. I believe in the magic and joy of December! And, most of all, I believe in taking time to remember/celebrate the birth of our Savior. If done right, the Christmas season is a time to have fun with our families, a time to give and serve, and to feel closer to Jesus!

I love this depiction of Mary and little baby Jesus--the first worn-out mom of Christmas! Haha! I love that she doesn't look glamorous and put together. She's exhausted, but relieved and joyful and full of love--a feeling which anyone who has been through childbirth can understand! It's beautiful that the Savior of us all started as a helpless infant, like us all!

In all the crazy, it can be easy to forget about the greatest gift ever given to any of us: God gave the world his son Jesus Christ and sent Him to the earth as little baby. And, Jesus gave us the gift of the perfect example of how to live, and in the perfect act of love gave his life and died for US!

But how do we make the gift of the Savior our focus during the busy, to-do list holiday season?

Here's one tradition that I've loved. Every year, I make sure that on Christmas Eve evening, we take time to focus on our Savior. We read the story of Jesus' birth from Luke. (This is what my family always did every Christmas eve.) While we read (or summarize, since my kids get antsy half-way through, haha) the boys bring out each nativity piece as the story unfolds. When our nativity is complete, we sing Christmas songs and talk about Jesus and why we're grateful for Him and that He was born. That evening is a non-negotiable to me--we can't miss a chance to slow down and focus on the reason WHY we have Christmas! I love making sure we have this reverent time before our fun Christmas morning and day of gifts, playing, eating, and partying. :)

One way that I am trying to personally connect with Jesus this entire Christmas season, is to spend time every day reading His word. When I am making an effort to have time in the scriptures every day (even if it's just a little!) then I feel so much closer to Him in my life--His teachings are more part of how I think and live. And, believe you me, I NEED Jesus in my life EVERY DAY! I can't function without His help and the direction from His teachings. My gospel habits of prayer, scripture study, and weekly church are the foundation of my life. They keep me steady and give me strength!

Since I am making an effort to make this season "peaceful" and more of a time to connect with the Savior, I started a scripture reading challenge. For the past two months, many people who belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints are doing a challenge that our prophet invited us to do: finish the Book of Mormon by the New Year’s. This has been perfect timing for me, as I have wanted a kick in the pants to focus on my faith this season.

>>For those who aren't familiar with it: The Book of Mormon is a collection of records kept by the ancient prophets who lived in the Americas (Mormon was the name of one of these prophets), just like the Bible is a collection of records kept by the prophets and apostles who lived in Jerusalem and the surroundings areas. The Book of Mormon teaches about Jesus Christ and his gospel,--it's an important second witness, that testifies alongside the Bible that Jesus Christ really lived and that He truly atoned for our sins, died for us, and rose again! The Book of Mormon further shows God's love, because He was guiding his children through prophets, not just in Jerusalem, but on the other side of the world as well!<<

This challenge has been awesome to encourage me to be more consistent in my gospel study. I think we all need a little help in that department, right?? I've been listening to the Book of Mormon from my scripture tool ap every time I get ready for the day or get ready for bed, and sometimes when I drive. I need to catch up, or I'll be reading the entire day of December 31st (haha!) but I do plan on finishing on time! :) It's been cool to know I'm working on this goal with many others.

My sister Julie, came up with the awesome idea of making a hashtag so people can share how they are making their own personal scripture study meaningful! I thought this was a genius way to encourage each other!

If we’re not making our gospel study our own and reading/marking/journaling in a way that helps us to apply our study to our own life, then it’s basically just a academic study that doesn't make much of an impact at all on who we are. We have to put in some effort to make our study meaningful to us!

SO. We’re starting the #MyGospelStudy movement. 

We want anyone and everyone to share on Instagram and/or Facebook how they are remembering Jesus in their daily life by learning of Him from the Scriptures. This way, we can support and encourage each other in our daily gospel study, especially in this busy time of year!

So, please share your gospel study and what that looks like for YOU! If you are studying in the New Testament or Old testament, great! If you're studying from the Book of Mormon and trying to finish the challenge by the end of the year, awesome! Studying the scriptures looks different for everyone, and should. We all learn in different ways--but the important thing is taking that daily time to be with the Savior and his teachings. For me, I love to take notes in a little notebook, and mark my favorite scriptures so I can find them again. I try to find at least 1 lesson or take-away that I can use in my life every time I read. It totally keeps me engaged in what I’m learning, since I'm searching for my take-away. Right now, I am listening since I am focusing on reading as much as I can, but in the new year, I am starting with the New Testament with my family, and I'll keep a journal of my studies.

I'm so excited to share my study with you, and see what YOUR gospel study is like! (Check out my first post here...spoiler: I have wet mascara mess around my eyes, but I'm not crying. haha!)

After you share your own #MyGospelStudy pic, please invite others to share their study as well! :)

I want to show you a picture from Julie's gospel study. She is a phenomenal artist (seriously, she's so good!) and she loves to connect with her study through artwork. She adds copies of sacred artwork to her scriptures, and includes her own art! Here is a drawing she made for her Book of Mormon.

Recently, they started selling copies of The Book of Mormon that have quite a few blank pages in the back. These would be perfect for taking notes, writing a letter to someone you give it to, drawing pictures, writing quotes or favorite verses, or any other thing that helps us to study better. Julie included coloring pages for her kids in their new copies.

(I'll have to share her process of making these perfectly-sized coloring pages for her kids' scriptures in another post! It's so cool! I am totally doing this for my kids!)

But really, you should go get a new copy of the Book of Mormon so you can use some of those blank pages as part of your meaningful study! If you want a free one, you can request one online here! :) I love the Book of Mormon. It brings me closer to my Savior every time I read it. :)


..........
I hope that even with all the hustle and bustle and of the season, we can feel a little more peace as we simplify and keep Christ in our Christmas. We can share our light by sharing the joy the Gospel and the scriptures bring to us!! After all--the light that we hold up is the light of the Savior! So let's light the world by sharing our gospel study! 

Love to you friends! And, happy, un-stressful Christmas! :)