December 27, 2012

All The Single Ladies!

By Celestie  
Introduced by Amy

After watching "Monster House" with our roomies!
Celestie and I were roommates at college and....let's just say there was too much fun and too little studying. Hah!  She seemed mild mannered when I first met her, but after living with her for a few days I realized...holy cow, this girl is seriously funny!  

She danced to "Love Shack" on the bathroom counter (yes, that's right: standing...on the counter), she rapped like a gangsta, and whipped up half-way-baked brownies any time anyone had a bad day, needed to vent, or wanted to punch the lights out of some punk-guy.  We would drown our sorrows in gooey, chocolate goodness and Celestie would listen.  She is one of those rare listeners--she has that oh-so-satisfying way of being outraged when you're outraged, doing a victory dance when you tell of a triumphant moment, giving you a hug when you start crying, patiently letting you get it all out, and tactfully helping you see when you are in the wrong.  Plus she always offers to go slash the tires of whoever made you mad...(hah, she never would...well, I don't THINK she would...)  

Basically, she helps you to feel important and loved.  This girl has a huge heart, wickedly sarcastic sense of humor, and one mean bathroom counter dance.  Introducing: Celestie! 

I remember being 10 or 11 years old, coming home from school in a depressed funk - most likely a 'B' on a test or a friend calling me "Doodey-head" on the playground or some other trivial drama - and I clearly remember thinking the words, "I can't wait until I'm 20 and married and having kids and life is perfect."

Hi. My name is Celestie, I'm pushing 30, single, no children, and have NO prospects and NO idea what I want to do with my life.

And I'm ok with that.

It's taken some time and a whole lot of interesting life experiences to come to that point, but I have gratefully learned many life lessons since the naive child that expected life to be perfect by 20. As I said, I'm a late twenty-something years old, and have had the...privilege?...of watching a good chunk of my friends get married and begin their own families; my younger brother is married with two children, and my baby sister is practically engaged now. I've gone from hanging out with these people every waking moment growing up and in high school and college, to babysitting their kids and staring at their Facebook wedding albums with 200+ pictures of wedded bliss, wondering when I'll get to post my own (I mean sure, I could create my own wedding album now, but that has the potential of scaring off any prospective suitors who might view that as...insane). My friends and I have gone from swapping crush stories and lousy date experiences, to talking (or in my case, listening) to horror stories of labor pains (I'm seriously terrified), breast-feeding, and potty-training. As I watch each one "take the plunge" and tie the knot, yes, I'm very excited for them and this new adventure they're beginning, with just a touch of envy, but mostly fear that our relationship will change too dramatically. A selfish thought, I know. 

With Rock, my nephew.

I have been incredibly blessed though, at having such wonderfully understanding friends and family, who, despite being busy with husbands and spitting-up children, make the time to call me, visit, go to lunch, and just hang out. I think it's incredibly important to a single person to know they're not forgotten, when sometimes we feel like the black-sheep friend for being THIS old and not married; and I'm learning that taking some time out to chillax with friends is equally important to the married friend, giving her a much needed reprieve to catch up and take a break from the spitting-up child.

Nieces and nephews!

It's easy to feel like "Maybe I SHOULD have married that creepy guy that asked me, even if I couldn't stomach being around him" in order to avoid feeling "shunned" by the married population and feel better about myself, but having a good support group can make all the difference. I have amazing examples to look to, and I've learned the hard way that you can't sit around moping about your lot in life, but need to be up and "anxiously engaged" (forgive my terrible pun) in the search and in life. I have a semi- time-consuming job, six (almost 7!) of the MOST adorable nieces and nephews EVER, and church responsibilities that require LOADS of time and energy and talent (that I borrow when I can't summon my own). 
As for marriage, when it happens, it happens, but until then, I'm learning to enjoy what I have NOW, and WHO I have now, and to make time for those people in my life.

What about you?  Married ladies, how do you maintain relationships with your single friends?  Single ladies, how do you stay connected with your friends when they start getting married and having chillens?


  1. This is an awesome post. Great insight from the single perspective. Thanks for sharing Celestie! I really love your positive attitude and enjoying what life has to offer you now.

  2. Celestie! I am guilty of being one of your friends who described in detail labor pains and breastfeeding...haha. Sorry!

  3. I have NEVER slashed anyone's tires. Yet... Not that the thought has never occurred to me... :) And Amy I love your labor pains and breastfeeding stories!!


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