July 2, 2013


By Amber
Introduced by Amy 

Amber and I were acquaintances in high school, then became good friends when we sang by each other in choir. (WOO WOO, altos!)  Amber was so cool: she was beautiful, friendly, kind, a dang good singer, and...really she was just more mature than most of us.  Not in a boring way--no, she just didn't get caught up in stupid high school drama.  I really liked that about her.  When I found out that she is the oldest in her family her maturity made sense; she probably helped in her home a lot growing up.  When I heard that Amber got married, I was like, "Dang!" cause I still felt young and SHE was in the grade below me!  But, I knew, if anyone could be a wife and mom at our age, Amber could. 

I saw her later when a few friends and I got together to preform a song in church back in our hometown; she was just as cool, fun, and pretty as ever--she was just a mom now too! 

I really appreciate Amber bravely opening up and telling her story, especially when many in society look down on those who marry young.  But as Amber said, you got to do what feels right no matter what others think!  She's still wise beyond her years.

20 years young.  That’s how old I was when my husband and I decided to start our family.

I was even younger when we got married.  18 years and 6 months young to be exact.  What’s even more crazy, is that I didn’t think I was ‘that young’ at the time.  You hear people say all the time that when you fall in love, you just know.  I had no idea what they really meant, but after being on ONE date with my husband, a mere week after high school graduation, I knew I had caught the love bug.  We were married 6 months after our first date.

I could tell that a lot of people were stand-offish about me getting married at my age, but I didn’t even care.

Some friends could only say, 'Wow. You’re getting married?'  I would just smile and exclaim, 'YES! I’m SO excited!'

And I was.  I had never been happier.

Fast forward a year and a half, just a little after my 20th birthday.

One day after I got home from work, I decided to pee on yet another one of those silly sticks (I had gone through many in the 3-4 months prior), and my heart stopped.  And then it started racing at 100 miles per hour.  It was positive!  Was I seeing things?  No, it really was there!  We were pregnant!  I couldn’t contain my excitement and called my hubs right away.  The first thing he said was, "Are you sure? Try not to get too excited, okay?"

Don’t get excited? Ya right. Being a mom was the only thing I had ever wanted to be, and now it was happening.  Fast forward again to 4 weeks later. (I swear… those weeks you have to wait until you go to your first prenatal checkup are killer!)  My poor hubby had gotten a stomach bug and said he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to make it to the appointment.  Honestly, I was a little disappointed.

Luckily, my awesome mom was able to get off work early and come with me.  I was so nervous with butterflies that I couldn’t even think straight.  At that time, my doctor’s office was in the hospital, and well, I got lost.  So lost, that they had to send a nurse out to find me.  Haha.  Seriously, I was a mess!

Well, we finally got back and it was time for the ultrasound.  I actually remember not wanting to look at the screen thinking I would jinx myself or something.  Then then I heard it.  It was a sweet, beautiful, perfect sound.  I looked over and there ‘it’ was.  My baby.  Our baby.  All I could do was smile because I think if I had actually tried to say anything, I would have started blubbering uncontrollably.

The following months rushed by and soon we were getting ready to meet our baby boy a week before his due date.  I had went in for a regular checkup, and after running some tests, my doctor throws the door open and says, "We need to induce you now. Which hospital did you want to deliver at so we can tell them you are on your way?" After 24 hours of labor and a long horrible hour of hard pushing, we was finally here!

I remember the pure joy I felt when my doctor placed him on my belly.  I wanted to kiss him and hold him and never let him go.  The pure happiness and joy that I felt when I had got married had multiplied by a million.

Although I was ‘young’ according to the outside worlds’ standards, I never felt too young or overwhelmed by having to grow up so fast.  I’m not trying to say that I was supermom and say that I never got tired or never cried, but I truly felt that being a mom was what I was meant to do.  That’s what kept me going through all of the continuous feedings and endless crying, and I wouldn’t change any of it for all of the riches in the world.

Our little guy is now 5 years old and now has a 2 year old sister, so I’m definitely not ‘young’ anymore.

People still get a shocked look on their face when we tell them how young we were when we got married and started having kids, but when you know it’s right for YOU, just go with it.

Everyone is different.  For others it may not be right to marry young--that's ok too!

My philosophy: don’t let others get you down for your decisions, and don’t judge others for theirs. :)
 - Amber

Thanks, Amber!  Isn't she cool?  I am amazed by how she does what she feels is right, and doesn't let the criticizers sway her.  She amazes me too, cause I was needed a lot more time than her to grow up before I was ready to get married!  I still felt young and unprepared when I had a baby, and I had 6 years on her! :)  But, that's probably every first-time mom, regardless of age.  Things are much better now, but, oh, that first night home from the hospital...YIKES. That was a cold dose of reality for me!  Ha!

How about you?  How old were you when you got married or started a family?  Did others question your choice if you were young?  If you were older, did you get pressure from others, for NOT being married?  We'd love to hear from you. :)

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  1. Married at 19, first baby at 20, second baby at 21. Still feels right to me :)

  2. Married a month after turning 20 with a baby 9m 1 day later and all 4 by 25yrs old. Its weird being done with 4 kids before most people even think about it!

  3. Married at 21, still waiting on kids to come 3 years later. I would have loved to have all this happen at a younger age, but at the same time, I'm glad it has happened the way it has, you know?

  4. I was 23 when I got married, but I think the thing I might have been judged for was getting engaged and married so fast. After about two weeks of dating my husband, we started talking about getting married. I used to make fun of people who got married really fast, but now I understand. When it's right, it's right. Great post! I love your philosophy--it's a good one!

    1. Im sure a lot of people were shocked when we got engaged after 3 months too. I never ever in a million years thought that I would get married that young, or that soon after only one date, but when you know, you know :)

  5. Married at 19 baby at 22 (finally!!) I love it and wouldn't change a thing!!

  6. Married at 18, baby #1 at 19, baby # 2 at 21. Life is beautiful!

  7. With a load of dating anxiety and fear about relationships, I was no where near ready to get married at 18. But, when the time, and person was right, I was able to get past the fear! I got married at 24 then had a baby at 26...You're so right, Amber...it isn't so much about the age, but when it feels right.

    1. Amy, thanks for saying all those sweet things about me. I definately think of myself as one of those people that no one remembers from school because I did try to stay out of drama. :)

  8. Amber-I really enjoyed your story and agree with what Amy said above too. Even with cheering, you tried to stay out of the drama. You are awesome and I am so thankful to have you as a friend. Love ya.

  9. I love your blog Amy! I was married at 21 with baby #1 at 24 and baby #2 a week before I turned 27.

    1. Thanks, Whitney! :) Congrats on baby #2!

  10. I was a young mom too, but never felt "young"...I even remember the doctor commenting that I was a statistic since I was a teenage mom...yet I was married! Rude much!? Still hasn't sunk in that I've been a mom going on 11 years!

  11. I met my husband at 20yrs old but we didn't marry until I was 27. 1st baby at 29 and second at 31. It's been perfect for us but we got pressure from his family to get married sooner, to even have children before we were married, even when those scenarios hadn't worked out for the people pressuring us! We needed those 7 years before marriage to grow up individually and together before we were prepared for marriage. We're about to celebrate 5 years of marriage and we couldn't be more in love even after more than a decade together.


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