September 18, 2013


By Amy

I have a goal of running a 5k. 

Why the heck did I set this goal?  I have no idea.  Temporary insanity.   

If you love running, I am in awe of you.  Seriously.  But, I really just don't.  I'm an asthmatic who views running as almost as bad as the pains of h-e-double hockeysticks.  Even when I was in the best shape in my life, running was a struggle.  I love dancing, and I can shake it for an hour, but there are breaks to for me to catch my breath....running, on the other hand-- is relentless.  Unless I stop every few minutes to walk, I'm toast.

Though I set this goal, I am really good at not making any steps toward achieving it.

It's not that I don't care about my health or exercising...I actually really do!  I try to get in at least a half hour of physical activity 5 days a week.  But, don't think I'm hard core, cause I'm not.  I love to work out with ladies from my church in the mornings (We laugh really hard at each other while busting out moves from 80's workout videos as our toddlers chase each other around the building.)  I go to once-a-week dance class (love it!) and go for brisk walks pushing my son in a stroller, but running?  Nooope.

You've probably seen this...still funny! *
I was that kid on the soccer field whose face was bright purple.  "I'm ok, coach...*pant *pant... really, just a ....*gasp....collapsed lung."  My face would turn blotchy PURPLE.  And my mom would be hollering from the sidelines, "Come use your inhaler!"  I love my mom, but that is REALLY FREAKIN embarrassing when you're 8 years old.  One kid on the team, a sassy, cute, mexican boy named Jorge', loved to repeat this after the game in his Spanish accent, "Amy, come use your inhaler...Come use your inHAAAALER!"  And everyone would laugh.  I'd die a little.  Ok, a lot.

Running and I have had a strained relationship ever since then.

Last fall, I'd go jogging with Hayden in the stroller to burn my "after-baby tummy." ('s still there.)  To take my mind off my discomfort, I'd take as long of strides as I could, so I only stepped in each sidewalk square once.  It was distracting and kinda fun...till I realized that I must look like a psycho gazelle.  I imagined my baby in the stroller wide-eyed..."Is she seriously going this fast?  I don't think she's up for this!  OH GREAT, here comes cardiac arrest."  Add in my gaping for air like a guppy out-of-water, and I was a regular freak show.  I couldn't keep up the sidewalk leap for long, cause, well, I sure aint no gazelle.  After a leaping fit, I'd end up bent over, wheezing like a 89 year old woman, till I could catch my breath...then I'd go back to my slowly plodding jog, trying to think about ANYTHING besides how I REALLY don't enjoy running.  (Such a bad attitude, I know!  I enjoy other kids of exercise, I swear!)

Since I made this 5k goal, I've been very good at ignoring it.  Besides the fact that I don't like to run, I can't stand the idea of paying someone else 15 or 20 bucks so that I get to do something I hate.  (Does that seem like crazy thinking to anyone else?  Maybe if they payed ME to run my attitude would improve.)  Though I do think it is cool that many races are raising money for good causes. 

I've only ran one 5k in my life, and it was cause my momma-in-law (who loves running) asked my husband and I to run it with her on mother's day...and she even paid for our entrance fees.  It was pretty sucky...May in Jackson Hole, Wyoming is NOT warm.  It was cold, raining, and so windy I could barely breathe, and I VOWED that I would never run a race again.  EVER.  Really, it was so hard for me; I started panicking cause I couldn't get my breathing under control and I had to fight tears a couple times!  How humiliating.

But yesterday, my husband brought home a flier for a Halloween Costume 5k that he is helping with, and it's only $5.  AWWWWW crap.  There goes the money excuse.  And, he's already going, plus I LOVE wearing Halloween costumes...and it actually sounds hilarious to see all the costumed people running in a huge pack.  I guess I can no longer ignore my goal.

SO.  As much as it pains me, I am publicly announcing to all of my friends here at SOM that I am running Pocatello's Halloween 5k.  I just gotta figure out what to dress up as.  Pocatello friends, who's with me!? (Maybe I'll even do my psycho gazelle leap in the race!  You know you wanna see it!  Ha!)

Let the torture (ha...oops, I mean training) begin.

How about you?  Are you a runner?  I'd love to understand, why do you love it?  Or do you run despite not enjoying it?  Any tips for a non-runner to get started?  Especially you peeps with asthma...any running tips?


  1. In high school I ran a 5k called Moon Struck, it was at night and there were candles everywhere in paper bags with candles in them to show the way. One kid got lost and didn't come back in. luckily he had a hat with a blinking light on it and we were able to find him wandering around. One run that I didn't do was called the Bare Buns Fun Run. It was at the Nudest ranch a few miles down the road.

  2. I think you know how I feel about running. It is the one goal I don't regret. Actually, it isn' fun while I am doing it, but the feeling afterward is what does it for me. Good for you in doing something hard! We need a picture of this gazelle leap.

  3. I agree with Brittany. The feeling after the run is what makes me love running. Much like cooking; cooking itself is a pain, but the end result is so worth it! Lately I've been listening to audio books while I run and if I'm really focusing on the words of the book, I'm not thinking about how I want to slow down and catch my breath. That 5K sounds like a lot of fun. My husband hates running and has asthma, but he really enjoyed doing the Color Me Rad 5K with me last year at a nice easy pace. I think a 5K like that with a fun theme is a great way to get into running. Dress warm, forget about the clock, and I think you can have a lot of fun.

  4. I used to be a sprinter, but I'm not much of a distance runner (I think I can get asthmatic too but it's usually allergy induced). I really don't like treadmills... I'm too uncoordinated or something. Decided I love ellipticals for running (or my gazelle) but outdoors most of the time I'd rather walk (nice long strides to burn the glutes), speed walk when Kelty's about to miss the bus, or hike. I also don't want to deal with a lot of the wear and tear on the body that many runners suffer from later in life.

  5. So funny, I just blogged today about the first (and possibly last) 5k I ran earlier this year. You can totally do it, especially if you did one already! For me, listening to good music is the key. Good luck!


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