October 22, 2013

Here's a Gross Story for You. You're Welcome.

By Amy

One day, when my son was about 3 months old, I went to change yet another of his nasty blow-outs...ya know, the runny, mustard-infant-poop-up-the-back kinda blow-out.  Let me tell you, as a first -time mom, I was keenly aware of my inexperience in all things baby, including the horrific amount of runny poo that came over and over--ESPECIALLY when I had just changed his diaper and/or when he was wearing his MOST adorable outfit.

So, after discovering yet another poop catastrophe, I rolled up my sleeves, took a deep breath, and got to work at the changing table.  I entertained myself by telling my son (in a happy, cooing voice)..."Child, you smell like a warthog's backside, yes you do!!" (Which he thought was funny, I might add.)  As I held his ankles and hoisted up his little bum to wipe the trail of poo going up his back, my son started peeing.  Yeah, NBD, it happens during diaper changes probably once a day...but, to my horror, I saw a steady stream of pee pouring STRAIGHT INTO HIS OPEN, SMILING MOUTH!!!  I screamed, put down his bum, and frantically tried to cover the stream with my hands, pee splashing all over his body. Then, just as fast as it started, the peeing stopped; I anxiously watched my babe's startled expression.  He smacked his lips, trying to figure out the unfamiliar flavor in his mouth...and then...


Hahaha...sick.  He didn't even care!

Well, I'm happy to report, he lived; he was not poisoned by drinking his own pee.  Nowadays, he's moved on from urine, and has developed a much more sophisticated pallette.  I've found him sampling the dirt from my mother's potted plants, splashing in toilet water (then licking it from his fingers..."'shudder"'), and chomping on crayons.  Oy.  He didn't get his tastes from me, that's all I can say.

Here's an example of his dazed/confused face...ha!

And then his happy face. :)

How about you?  

You got any nasty baby/kid bodily function stories?  Let's hear em!  And if you enjoyed this story (or if you were horrified and want to horrify others...ha) please Like/Share!  Thanks, friends.  :)


  1. Love it! I am in that blowout stage right now and I think that they must sense the cuteness of the outfit...It always happens in my favorite ones!

  2. Thanks for a good laugh today, Amy! My boys never did this, luckily! My hubby tells stories of my oldest stepson having massive blowouts in his carseat and poo being in his hair and all. I remember a blowout with my oldest son while we were on a drive out to my parents across the dessert. Nothing like pulling over and having to use half a bag of wipes to try and make it so you can even keep driving :) Kids rock.... and I guess we can survive on our own pee if we had too, so it's not that bad ;)


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