March 6, 2014

Compression Socks: They're TIGHT, Yo.

By Amy

Most of you know that I recently had a run-in with a blood clot.  My leg was hippo-ish and purple, and the swelling continued for a few weeks after.


I got my hands on the hottest fashion accessory EVER:

I should probably become a fashion blogger, I'm lookin' so cool these days. 

Actually I would make a really crappy fashion blogger since:

A) I'm not really that into fashion (I wear sweats every day.)

B) I have no idea how they take all of those coy, cute pics in their outfits.  (That would require me to get all cute-ed up frequently, and like I said--I wear sweats every day.)

Haha, this is me trying to figure out how the heck to take my own picture that includes both my legs AND my face.  Impossible, I tell you!


Ha, still didn't work.

>Tangent: Who takes fashion bloggers pics?  Any fashion bloggers reading this?  (Ashley? You there?)  I really am curious.  Cause, I assume they don't hire a photographer for every post.  Do they get their husband to follow them around with a camera taking pics?  I have an amazing hub, but I know that a daily photo shoot would go beyond the bounds of his patience.  Maybe they have a friend who doesn't mind snapping photos?  I'd love to find out!<

Anyway, I'm trying to get used to the fact that I will be in a suckin-tight, thigh-high sock through the rest of my pregnancy. (yes, through July and August, I will be sweating in this beastly sock.)

I must admit, it is a little wounding to the ego when a kind old lady comes up in church and offers to give me a pair of her compression socks, cause she heard I was having vein trouble.  (True story.)  I turned to Patrick and was like, "Oh my gosh.  I have become an 80-YEAR-OLD WOMAN."

And I can't forget that my doc and the vascular specialist both warned me to expect more varicose veins to continue popping out on my upper leg, tummy, abdomen, and groin throughout the rest of my pregnancy, because of all the added pressure on my veins.  (Oh, and the purple, knobby varicose veins may get smaller after pregnancy, but they won't go away.  Stretch marks are the least of my worry right now!)

But, the sock is supposed to help my veins.  So every morning, there I am, contortioning on my bedroom floor to shimmy, squnich, yank, tug, and cuss my way into this sock.  It's not a graceful sight.  (Ok, ok, mom if you are reading this, I don't really cuss, but I DO give it a piece of my mind.)  Hayden watches this struggle in amazement and says, "Momma's BIG sock!" his voice filled with awe.  Even a toddler respects the effort it takes me to get in this thing.  Folks, it is TOUGH to get on.  It is really stiff and SUPER tight, and it has to go alllll the way to the tippy-top of my thigh.  I seriously break a sweat and breath heavy, fighting that beast.   I can only imagine how I'm going to get it on when I am 9 months pregnant and can't even reach my feet to put on shoes, let alone pull on the tightest, longest sock in the universe!

The sock itself is the lightest color they come in, and is almost a match to my skin color.  (Ha. I am so pale.)  It has little sticky nubbins all around the inside of the top to keep it from sliding down during the day, and if I don't get it placed exactly right, my bum ends up looking a little strange.  Too high, and I end up with an awkward bum lift on one side.  Not high enough, and it cuts into my upper thigh, creating a bulge that looks very much like a double bum cheek.

But, truth be told, I am pretty grateful for this thing.  My leg is no longer swollen and hurting!  The sock keeps my blood moving instead of pooling in my foot and ankle.  It keeps my poor stressed out vessels supported and helps me to move about, getting on with life, taking care of my son, and teaching my art classes.

So, I plan on Rocking the Sock, baby!

Watch for the next big trend: I'm gonna figure out how to draw cool designs on it with a fabric marker, so it looks like those cute stretchy leggings!  Except it's um...a legging just on one leg.  Well, Michael Jackson became an icon with just one glove, now I'm steppin' up with the solo sock!

And, ya know what?  It's cool when I can complain about varicose veins and talk compression socks with my 80-year-old home girls at church!

But, just wait till you hear this, then you'll REALLY be jealous: I only shave one leg now!  Haha!  Ain't no point in shaving the other! :)  My husband just shakes his head when he sees my nicely smooth right leg next to the hairy forest on the other.  HA!  I think I'll let it grow till I have the baby. :)

Hey...maybe they make compression socks in fishnet?!  Sexy, huh? :)


  1. Ah Amy if at your young age you have to struggle just imagine how much of a work out it is when you're 63 and almost 64. At least after your pregnancy you're done with them... until you are an 80 year old gramma :)

    1. Haha...Larry, it's true. I'm sure it will be in my future! :)

  2. I have a friend who is a fashion blogger and ,yep! It's her husband. So awkward. Jordan and I could never be serious enough for that (obviously).

    Maybe this is stating the obvious, but have you tried rolling the sock to get it on?

    1. Haha...that would not last too long for my husband. Plus, I'd feel like a doofus posing. Ha! Yeah, I seem to either be too lame to figure it out how to roll it or the sock is just too thick...I usually just bunch it up, then put in my foot, and tug it up!

  3. "Momma's BIG sock".... hahaha... that's awesome. So at the bottom of this there's an ad for "Fun and Fashionable Compression Stockings!!" with a scantily clad pair of legs in tights.... YOU'RE SAVED!!! Finally catering to the young, hip crowd! Maybe you could youtube "pulling on compression socks" and watch a demo... haha... seriously, I bet you could :).

    1. BAHAHAHAHA! That is so funny! I'm just mad that someone started that business before I did!!! I am going to go look up Youtube videos right now. You are a genius.

  4. I think I may have teased my mom just a little about the compression socks she had to wear when she was pregnant with my baby is kind of funny when you only associate them with the elderly, but I've known several ladies who have had to use them while pregnant!

  5. I can relate! But these babies are worth it! You definitely rock the socks :)


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