18 Signs that You May Be Over 8 Months Pregnant...

By Amy 

(First of all, for those who find it painful to read about pregnancy because you'd give anything to be pregnant yourself, or for those who aren't to the "having kids" stage yet and just find it uninteresting, please ignore this post.)

Friends, please know that I truly am so grateful to be pregnant and expecting my second child! However, there are some strange, uncomfortable, and ridiculously funny parts of being THIS pregnant that I don't want to forget, so please forgive me for talking about the less-than-enjoyable aspects of being big with child.  Ya know, later it gets all hazy and then you're the 70-year-old lady in the grocery store saying, "Oh, enjoy EVERY moment!" to young moms and soon to be moms, making them feel like crap for all the many moments that they definitely do NOT enjoy.  (I mean, who enjoys puking for crying out loud?)

But...anyway, I hope you can relate to some of the weirdness!  :)

1. You grunt and groan.  EVERY TIME YOU BEND DOWN.  Actually, I'm starting to grunt for most any movement I force my body to make.  It's probably really attractive.

2. Getting out of bed...it's like a darn Olympic feat.  I use a strange ritual of rocking for momentum, planting my foot against the bedroom wall for leverage, all accompanied by...you guessed it...more grunting.  I'm pretty sure my body still contains abs...somewhere in there.

3. You feel like you have a HEATER inside of you! (Maybe this is just cause I'm hugely pregnant during the hottest months of the year.  Excellent planning, huh?) Seriously, it's pathetic... I heat stroke in like 3 minutes of standing in the sun.  My poor child.  I used to take him to the park.  Now I'm parked in front of the air conditioner.  The other night, I woke up to my husband all cuddled up to me in bed cause he was freezing!  Oops, maybe that was my fault for blasting our window air conditioner all night in our bedroom on high.  Oh, and even with that, I STILL had my arm and legs out of the covers, cause I was too hot.  Ha!

4. When you see a small space you have to fit through, and you turn sideways...except, that doesn't make you any smaller and now you are now wedged between two objects.  You feel like a fool.  (Even more awkward when you are trying to move past someone and you don't realize how big you are, and you belly bump them!  Ha!)

5. You are being forcibly beat up from the inside.  Sometimes, the jabs and pushes are so painful they actually take my breath away!  I mean, why the anger, child?!  I am feeding you plenty! (ask my husband, he can vouch for that!)  Heck, I'm even giving you the good brand of ice cream sandwiches, not the store brand stuff!  You should be lovingly massaging me in gratitude! ....or something like that. :)

6. Your skin is AMAZING!  I don't know if you experience this but, during my 2nd and 3rd trimester my skin is glowing and clear, and I feel like I'm in a Neutrogena commercial!  And I constantly am grateful, because this is a freakin miracle for me!  Usually my skin is super crappy--like 14-year-old, crappy.  (Remember when we talked about skin woes and other insecurities about our bodies?)

7. When something falls on the floor and you know you have to bend down to retrieve it, you're irrationally angry about it.  Like, full-on rage.  I usually yell, "Are you freakin kidding me!"...or something of that nature.

8. When you try to go for a walk, you feel like a bowling ball is trying to push out of your nether regions.

9. You never have to suck in or feel self-conscious in a tight shirt, cause...there's a baby in that big gut!  Wahoo!!  Heck, the bigger your belly looks, the cuter!  So grab those cinnamon rolls, oreos, and some cheesey, sour-cream covered enchiladas and stuff yo face!!!  (Disclaimer: do yourself a favor...do not eat like this your whole pregnancy, or you will regret it later!  It's a lot easier to lose 25 pounds, then 50 pounds.)

10. You are acquiring some impressive cankles along with some killer tiger stripes on your belly.  And, um, how can stretch marks be worse with #2?!  I've already stretched out once for heaven sake!  And, I haven't exceeded the weight gain I had with my first! (...Yet! ha!)  Oh well.  I guess I need to throw out my bikinis. (Yeah...that's sarcasm.)  You may even hit the jackpot and develop some beautifuly purple varicose veins on your legs!  Time to sport the compression socks, sistah!

11. Your body seems to think that to birth a child, you must gain a certain amount of fat in the love handle region.  Like it is URGENTLY necessary.  Oh, and for me, I think that I am carrying another baby in each boob.  They are getting awkwardly big.  It's pretty bad when the only time you don't show accidental cleavage is when you're in a turtleneck.  And, let me tell you, it is WAYYYY too blasted hot for a turtleneck.  (See #3)

12. Your digestion SUCKS.  (I'll spare you details.)

13. So does your bladder control.  (It's gone, just like your dignity.  Pray you don't develop a bad cough or have a sneezing attack in public.)

14. And...your patience sucks too.  Which is understandable for anyone who generally is feeling uncomfortable, tired, and/or overheated.  Oy, it's not easy parenting a toddler when you have no energy.  Sometimes I just start crying when he's throwing a fit and I'm desperately trying to wrestle him into his dang shoes, and of course we are late for something, and I just am just done!  Then he feels bad when I cry and wipes my tears and says, "Momma, you crying?  You need Fuzzy?" in his little sweet voice, and I can't be mad anymore.  (Fuzzy is his beloved blankie.)

15. You start to re-live some of that 1st tri stuff...extreme, overwhelming exhaustion, queasiness, and you are generally uncomfortable.

A good pregnancy moment...

A much more realistic pregnancy moment.  Thanks, Alyssa for taking this super flattering pic...ha!  

16. Your sleep is wretched--full of tossing and turning.  I try to have a positive attitude, but it's hard not to feel ornery while wearily shuffling to the bathroom to pee for the third time in one night.

17. You are nervous and super excited/antsy for labor and delivery.  Basically, you are SOOO ready for this baby to be safely out of you and placed into your arms!  I'm pretty sure that's how God gets us ready to have our babies.  Towards the end, even if we're terrified to give birth to and then be responsible for our own little human, (or learn how to take care of two!!) we feel so dang uncomfortable that we WANT that baby to come out!  Like, today.

This time around with baby numero dos, I am grateful to have this sweet awareness of what is to come.  I've actually experienced what it is like to love and care for my own child and watch him grow--it's not just an abstract idea this time.  And, even though I am terrified to do the infant stage again (it was a little traumatic with Hayden) I also know how worth it all the effort is!  I can't wait to have another little person to fill my heart and bring more joy into our little fam!  (Here are a couple pics capturing "Yep, it was all worth it." moments....)

Photo by Alyssa Graham

Photo by Alyssa Graham

Having love like this in my life make stretch marks and a belly that will never be quite the same seem like such insignificant sacrifices!  Big deal, ya know?  Oh and life isn't perfect--my son can throw some wicked fits and be very stubborn/sensitive--but the truth is, there are moments when my sweet son fills me with so much joy I feel like my heart's gonna burst and I kinda start crying!

Oh, which reminds me of another Sign That You May be Over 8 Months Pregnant:

18. You are irrationally and ridiculously emotional.  Please tell me I'm not the only one who cried multiple times in the Lego Movie.  I mean, they are animated freakin lego people!  Sheesh.

Ok, which ones did you totally agree with??  Which ones not so much?  What signs did I miss? And, if you didn't experience terrible bladder control...yeah, me neither.

:)

Oh and don't forget...If you liked this post, Like/Share it with your pregnant and mom friends!  :) If you are new here to SOM, Welcome!!  Be sure to follow along through Blog Lovin, Facebook, Email, and/or Google Friend Connect (all buttons on the side)..whichever floats your boat!  We have a lot of fun around here. :)  You guys are the best!

Ps. Read Hayden's birth story here...I mean, if you're into that kind of stuff. :)

Pss. I am linking up this post to the Be.YOU.tiful Link party!  Check it out! :)

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